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Immediately you assume the attraction is either based on a mutually satisfactory financial agreement, a daddy fetish or a mid-life crisis.

But does an age gap relationship need strings attached to work? Most of us in the gay community have dated, or at least had a one-nighter, with someone considerably older or younger than us.


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And in some cases, it can find the older man branded a pervert or manipulator while his younger counterpart is dismissed as a gold digger. They began dating three years ago after meeting online. But the age gap worried me, even though the more time we spent together, the more we got on.

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And soon I realised I was being prejudiced about younger guys. Dennis, 29, adds: Age differences between gay couples are much more common that straight ones.

I'm a homosexual and I'm angry

Freud might encourage the assumption that there are a few father issues for both the younger and older man. We may see manipulation, a life crisis, one being kept or something worse. However, an age gap relationship can be functional and successful if built on solid foundations with mutuality. Recently I reluctantly gave in to a 32 year old on a dating site and went on a date. Actually, he stopped in to meet me at my place on his way to visit his family over the holidays. While I am attracted to younger men and have dated them, I worry about the additional challenges besides just trying to survive society as a gay couple and believe a partner is a partner which includes financial responsibility.

This young man, by means of his answers, convinced me that not only was he not seeking a Sugar Daddy, he took my barrage of questions as a sign that I was not the local perv and persisted his request to meet.

What Grindr Taught Me About Dating Older Men

In addition, this young man had never been with a man sexually. Oh my goodness, the red flags are flying everywhere. Several of his interests actually align with my own liking hiking, camping and exploring the night sky. Only time will tell. That will be my focus and consider anything else that becomes of it, a bonus. The moral of my story, I guess is: I almost missed out on meeting an incredible person due to a silly self imposed age restricted guideline.

Mind the gap – What do older men with younger partners have in common? - Gay Times

Keep an open mind. Seek a friend first. Smile often and laugh more. It works! Ive stareted dating a man who is 20 years younger than me.

Mind the gap – What do older men with younger partners have in common?

He is 49 and I am He has an amazing career, owns his own home has bought a seaside cottage and is a mature man. I am 69 retired from my profession as an Architect and have been a full time Real Estate agent for two years as a second career. I own my own home and tcare of all my own finances and have an adult daughter who I love dearly and is on her own. My new relationship is touching me deeply and he is feeling the same. I am tired of hearing that I am too OLD. Why is there such ageism in the gay community? I am not dating a man in his 20s. I am dating a mature beautiful man who has carved out a life for himself.

Whats going on? By the way my BFF is Is there something in that? Thank You.

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I do have an age limit for dating. At 22, my dating limit is 35; 7 years younger than my parents. Ageism is a real thing in the gay community.

The older you get, the smaller your dating pool gets. Well, most of us are. Because then, you have no leverage, no selling point when it comes to dating. The more money you have, the more options in terms of dating you have, because a lot of gay people will overlook their prerequisites if you have money.

Well, not just gay people….


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  7. Age generally does not seem to be a major issue for many, as long as it is with a legal and consensual adult. On people in relationships with a notable age difference the likes of Somizi and Mohale, for example , some agree that the assumptions and backlash the couple have received is unfair. Alutha Tshezi, 24, Cape Town. As we grow older, we get to experience more, specifically more trauma in the form of rejection and heart breaks; and I believe this happens more rapidly and commonly for queer people, especially in the early twenties.

    The dating pool is limited generally within the gay community because desirability is based on certain standards of beauty, class and education , etc. We are a shallow bunch and that makes it very difficult to widen our horizons when it comes to dating. The way the relationship is set up is actually quite common — a wealthy much older man, with a young and very beautiful partner — especially in entertainment.

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